So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
when you almost drop something on the ground but you catch it in time
what CIS stands for:
something went wrong while writing this but im just gonna leave it like that
Imagine Cecil being a completely cliché boyfriend and wanting to propose with the whole ring in a champagne glass but instead of champagne it’s a highly corrosive liquid in an Erlenmeyer flask and Cecil just drops the ring in and iT FUCKING EXPLODES AND HE JUST YELLS ‘MARRY ME’
Why don’t astronauts just visit the sun at night?
um obviously because it will be too dark to see anything, there’s no point, also because the sun is trying to sleep we wouldn’t want to disturb it
Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it
no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1
keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under
If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.
but what if the gigapause is 413 days long? that puts the end of the gigapause at december 3rd, 2014
but imagine if we had tiny little dragons
the size of puppies
and they would go wherever we went sitting on our shoulders and hissing at everyone who tried to touch you because you’re their most special thing in the universe and they are so tiny it’s ridiculously cute
the fact that this post has more notes than i ever expected makes me really glad
I can’t wait till “mister” dies out and “ya boy” becomes the default honorific for men in the English language.